nothing

hope, i have none. there is nothing i can do. i want to put my heart and soul into this guy, that im friends/more with, but i cant he doesnt want to see me, he doesnt want me, im nothing to him i cant do anything about it because it is the worst feeling because you cant control anything and you just want to scream at the top of your lungs hoping that you can get all the pain out of your body, but that doesnt happen and then because of all of the screaming you lose your voice, and then when people ask you why you dont have a voice, you say lies like oh im just sick but in reality, instead of screaming in your head as usual you couldnt take it anymore and you had to scream out loud.